Broken Dreams
by CSM
Summary: She hears all these familiar voices, begging her to wake up. She wants nothing more to call out to them, tell them she's here but her body won't cooperate. She's fighting a never ending battle with herself. Post 409 fic.


She wakes to the sound of incessant beeping, one that she _knows_ is not her regular alarm. She's just about ready to yell at Oliver for changing her alarm, when the pain sets in, it creeps up on her like the fog on a cold autumn morning, one moment it's crystal clear the next it engulfs her entire body and _everywhere_ aches. The pain vibrates throughout her entire body, yanking her in every which direction.

It just _hurts._

Everywhere hurts and she just wants it to stop. Her side feels as though someone ripped it to shreds. Her head is pounding, the beeping noise from earlier only making it worse. She tries to open her mouth, tries to get someone to make the beeping stop but her lips are so dry she's certain half of it will be torn off if she does. It reminds her of that time when she was five and she stuck her fingertips together with krazy glue and her mother needed to take her to the hospital to pry them apart.

She feels a familiar hand in hers, coarse fingertips dancing along her wrist, then slowly moving up her palm. She moans softly, tries to move but she can't the pain is unbearable and her body won't seem to cooperate with her. She tries to flex her fingers, move them to grasp the phantom fingers moving along her hand, but she can't.

 _"Felicity, baby. Can you open your eyes for me?"_

The voice is slightly muffled, but she can make out Oliver's rough tone anywhere. He whispers her name once again, his voice low and pleading. She can hear the way the words catch in his throat as he says her name. Her heart aches at the pain in his voice and she'd do just about anything to take that away from him.

She tries to open her eyelids, tries to communicate with him anyway she can, but her body won't allow it.

Her body has failed her.

There is a soft tug at her hand, followed by more pleas, and soft promises, begging her to just open her eyes. She wants to call out to him. Tell him she can hear him. Tell him that she's here, but her body refuses to cooperate.

The last thing she remembers before she falls back into the abyss is the soft weight of a hand in hers.

* * *

 _"Baby girl, you're stronger than this, stronger than all these silly machines. I know that, and you know that. You need to….. **I**_ _need you to wake up. Just wake up please."_

Her mother's broken tears are the first thing she hears as she comes around. Her mother's voice is loud and begging, practically on the verge of hysterics, unlike Oliver's low, soft pleads. This time the she feels the soft scratches of a bracelet against her wrists. Soft fingers squeeze her own, odd shaped rings press into her skin.

 _"I'm suppose to go before you, Felicity. After you and Oliver give me tons of grandbabies to spoil. We both know I was never the strictest of mother's, in fact you probably yelled at me more but I'm putting my foot down now, you're not allowed to go before I do."_

Her mother's speech brings tears to her eyes, tears she can feel running down the side of her cheek. She can feel the cold air in the room hit her face, cooling her skin and drying her tears as they fall. She feels the scratchy sheets from the hospital against her skin, surrounding her almost as though it's holding her hostage.

She wants to move she wants her family to know she's here.

Once again she starts to feel her body being pulled back into the darkness just as she hears Oliver's tired voice greet her mother. She tried to will herself to stay awake. To listen to the comforting sounds of their voices but as always her exhaustion wins this never ending battle.

* * *

Felicity comes in and out of slumber for days, maybe weeks. She hears small snippets of conversations, sometimes her mother would be talking to her about wedding preparations, dresses foods even not so subtle hints at honeymoon locations.

Other times Oliver would be by her side, his voice raw and laden with exhaustion as he promises her to find the men responsible. To finally kill Darhk once and for all. She wants more than anything to tell him to stop, don't let the vengeance overrule him. She needs him by her side when her body finally cooperates and allows her to wake up.

One day she feels a new presence a large hand engulfs her own, the familiar callouses absent so she knows not Oliver. She then gets a wiff of something familiar just as John's deep voice echos in her still room only the sounds of beeping machines kept her company the last time she was awake.

"Felicity, it's time to wake up now. We're running around like headless chickens out there without you... and Oliver….I'm worried about him Felicity. If you….if you don't wake up I don't know if he'll survive this. I've been seeing bits of that man we first met all those years ago and I'm afraid this vendetta is going to destroy him. I know your body needs to heal. I know that's why you haven't woken up yet, but Oliver needs you...we all do."

"Hey I….John? Where's Donna?"

Felicity hears Oliver's familiar voice a voice she hasn't heard in days and John's words only confirm her fears. Hearing his voice again brings her body the peace and comfort she didn't realize she was craving.

"I told her to head back to the loft and get some sleep. Offered to stay with our girl till one of you came back."

"Thanks...I'm going to stay with her for the rest of the night."

"Are you Oliver? Or are you going to leave again as soon as you get a new lead?"

"John." Oliver's tone is full of warning and Felicity wishes she could stop the inevitable fight. She wishes she could force her body to wake up and put a stop to Oliver's vendetta that may very well get him killed.

"Oliver, you are treating this like a suicide mission. Man I get it, we all want to get the sons of bitches responsible for putting her here. But we can't do it half cocked, we need to step back and…."

"I can't just do nothing John! She's liking there with _bullet holes_ in her body because of Darhk and his men."

"You're no good to Felicity if you're dead, Oliver!"

"I'm no good to her _now._ I couldn't protect her when….I couldn't….the least I can do is get rid of this threat before she wakes up….if she…."

"Oliver, you can't think like that. She's going to wake up."

"Is she? The doctors brought her out of the coma _six_ days ago and yet there has been no movement from her _nothing_. What if….what if….I can't lose her John….I don't…."

Oliver voice trails off as he breaks down into a sob. Felicity heart clenches, after everything Oliver has been through, after everything he has lost she promised herself that she would never be the one to break his heart like that, and now she's like in this hospital bed helpless as Oliver loses someone else.

She refused to let history repeat itself. It's not her time, she has too many things to look forward too. She has so many moments to experience with Oliver, things she can't do if she's confined to this bed.

She refuses to let this be the end.

She tunes out Oliver and John's conversations and instead puts her entire focus on her right hand, willing her fingers to move, wiggle just do _something_ so that they know she's in here that she's not just some vegetable.

* * *

Few days later and she's still had no progress but she's been awake for longer than normal and she hopes that's a sign that the rest of her body is ready to wake up as well.

When she comes to she hears the familiar beeping of her monitors, but no familiar chatter or familiar snores, she thinks she's alone until she hears the door open and shut gently.

"Hey Dorothy."

Felicity heart sores at the soft voice a voice she hasn't heard in _months._ She tries to will her eyelids to open just so she can see her long lost friend but her eyelids refuse to cooperate much like the rest of her body.

"Sorry I took so long to show up. Trying to sneak into this room has been a bitch, you're quite popular Ms. CEO, or should I be calling you soon to be Mrs. Oliver Queen. Nah I think I'll just call him Mr. Smoak."

Felicity body fills with warmth at his teasing tone and if she were fully away she knew she'd be laughing along with him and joining Roy in teasing Oliver.

"I'm sure if you asked him dude would change his last name to Smoak in a heartbeat." Roy says dryly. "I've been following him these past few weeks keeping an eye on him for you and it's not good. He's starting to get reckless now. You need to come back, put some sense into that thick skull of his, we both know only you can get through to him when he's like this. After all, Toto is lost without you, Dorothy."

It was a private joke between the two when they started naming everyone on the team from wizard of Oz and dubbing Oliver as Toto always made the two laugh, but now it only makes Felicity's heart ache when she thinks of the pain Oliver is going through.

She fades out once again as Roy tells her a story about his latest adventure in whatever state he has settled down in this time. Her mind goes back to Oliver, like it always does and once again she worries about him and how he's _not_ dealing with this.

* * *

"...I'm worried about Ollie. I remember what he was like that first year he came back. I feel like I'm losing my brother all over again. He's no longer consulting the team before he goes out into the field. It's starting to scare me. I'm afraid he'll go after Darhk on his own without back up, and he's no match for Darhk, not now and certainly not in this state."

Thea's voice pulls Felicity out of her sleep, the young girl's voice is filled with exhaustion and worry. There is no familiar weight in her hands, no other voices fill the room, so Felicity knows that only Thea is sitting with her.

"I've been trying to get Ollie to visit you more, but I think he's lost hope that you'll wake up. It's been three weeks since pulled you out of the coma, two since they removed the ventilator. The doctors don't understand why you won't wake up, and they have no answers for my brother. Ollie has lost hope."

"I'm no doctor, but I think if you were really gone, you wouldn't be holding on this long. I like to think that you're trying to make you way back to Ollie, to your mom...to all of us. We just need to give you time. The thing is, I don't know how much time Ollie has left, I'm worried he's going to do something stupid and when you're finally awake he won't be here to see you. I barely got a sister before Darhk almost took her away. I can't lose my brother too."

She feels a small hand slip between hers, she never really realized how small or young Oliver's sister was until that moment. She tries to squeeze her fingers, tries to tell her she's trying to make her way back, but once again her body would not allow it.

* * *

The next time she wakes up the voices are no long muffled, they no longer sound as though she's listening to them underwater. Instead her mother's screams are loud and clear and she can feel both her hands being tugged in opposite directions.

"That's it baby girl, open your eyes for me. You can do it."

Her mother's voice is loud as she coaxes Felicity awake. Felicity can feel a headache creeping up on her, much like the exhaustion that seems to be pulling her back down. She's almost tempted to succumb to the exhaustion yet again when she feels a firm tug on her left hand, her newly placed engagement ring almost digging into her flesh.

"Felicity, honey. Can you hear us?"

Oliver's voice is broken but full of so much hope as he squeezes her hand. Her mother's voice is pleading with her to wake up and Felicity ignores the pull of the darkness and forces her eyelids open for the very first time.

The light that assault her has her moaning loudly, and shutting them almost immediately. Her mother and Oliver's frantic calls has her squeezing back their hands and she smiles in triumphant when they both gasp in surprise.

"My baby girl!" Her mother sobs out it glee collapsing gingerly onto Felicity's broke body as soon as Felicity opens her eyes again.

"Mom…'Kay."

She tries to convey that she is okay but her lips are dry and cracked, her throat sore from lack of use. She turns her head to the left as she savours the warmth of her mother's body. She smiles when she locks with a familiar blue eyes, blue eyes that are filled with so much turmoil.

Oliver's free hand cups her face as he places his face right next to hers and Felicity forces herself to smile, holding back a wince, "Hey."

Oliver sobs out sigh of relief as he nuzzles her nose with her own, she can feels his hot tears running off his nose and onto her cheek, her own tears beginning to form. "I missed you so much."

There is so much she wants to tell him, so many promises she wants to make, but she knows he needs to just let it out, and she can only offer him the comfort she knows he seeks and whispers the three words she wasn't sure she would never be able to tell him.

"I love you."

And just like that the damn breaks and Oliver sobs echo in the small hospital room, mixed with Donna's own cries of relief. They both got their miracle.


End file.
